Diary of a Scranton Summer Intern
by the status is not quo
Summary: Zoe Ruthford has just graduated high school with hopes of going on to business school in the coming school year. What better way to get into the feel of office work than a summer at the Scranton branch of Dunder Mifflin?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Office (locations, characters, etc.) or any other fandom MENTIONED. I do, however, own Intern Zoe.**

_First On-Camera Interview:_

When I graduated high school I wanted to do something that'd help me with the career I was going to try to get after I graduated college. Business school, basically. I live about fifteen minutes from the building and thought, 'Hey, why not intern at Dunder Mifflin?'…you could say I made a good first impression…because I made myself laugh at all of Mr. Scott's jokes. Let's just hope I can survive the summer.

_Yup. That was what I said after I got the internship at the Scranton branch of Dunder Mifflin. I was pretty sure it was going to be an easy-going summer with paper-pushing here and there while learning the ropes of the corporate world. Little did I know (no matter how cheesy that just sounded) I was in for the ride of my life._

_This is the diary of a Scranton summer intern._

WEEK ONE, DAY ONE. JUNE SIXTH.

_Dwight K. Schrute is a nutcase._

_My reasoning is very clear. Why? He was the first person I talked to for more than three seconds and he asked me the weirdest question I have ever, and I do mean _ever_, been asked._

"Can you outrun a mountain lion?"

I looked up from my bottle of soda. "What?"

"_Can you _outrun a _mountain _lion?" he repeated, his left eyebrow rising quizically. I stared at him for a moment. He couldn't be serious. Who was this guy anyway and why was he talking to me?

I finally found my voice, scoffing first, before answering him, "Who would need to know that in an office?"

He leaned back in his chair, a smirk twisting his features. He sneered at me for a good two minutes, which I spent trying to back away to the receptionist's desk with a look of being completely creeped-out. Once I made a full step–clinging to my soda for dear life, I might add–he responded, "It's something all interns at the Schrute Family Beet Farm should be able to do. You're an intern and I thought you should be able to do so here."

Slowly nodding, I groped for something behind me to copy. "Uh-huh, okay. I can't. Sorry. Oh! Look, I have to…make a copy of…of…" _C'mon, Zoe, find something!_ It took me a few more seconds of scrambling before a piece of paper was placed in my hands. I waved the paper in front of me and almost sighed in relief, "of this! So, I'm going to go now. Nice meeting you…uh, Mister?"

"Schrute. Dwight Schrute."

I nodded again and turned my back, rushing to the copier and taking as much time afterward to make a few copies of the memo that I'd been given. I looked up and around and spotted at least two people chatting online or playing solitaire. I also spotted three "descreetly hidden" cameramen. Nother notch to the weird scale. I didn't dare look back at Dwight, he was just…ugh. He creeped me out.

Hearing the door click open, I looked over and spotted my boss, Mr. Michael Scott, walking through the door with a mile-wide smile. "Good morning everyone!"

Silence.

"I hope you guys have all gotten the news that this summer we will be the proud owners of an intern!" Michael continued, leaning against the receptionist's desk. "She is Zoe and she is…Zo-Zo could you mark yourself noticable please?" I didn't move, only scowled, as he leapt over to me and wrapped and arm around my shoulders, "_There_ she is, couldn't spot you there by that huge copier!"

"Please don't touch me."

"Look at her, she's tiny! And so hot!"

I did not see myself as hot at all. No clue what he was talking about. I was short, skinny, and didn't have any 'wow-factor' qualities. Brown hair, brown eyes, normal complextion–actually I was trying to hide a zit on my forehead at the time–and in no way stunning. "Mr. Scott, please."

---

_Second On-Camera Interview:_

Wow, is this like a regular thing?

_(You could say that. It's sort of like on Survivor when people do the confessionals.)_

(chuckles) So is like someone gonna get fired at the end of the week or something?

_(No.)_

Okaay then…(nervous laugh) So…what do I talk about?

_(Well, what's happened to you in Dunder Mifflin so far? It's just like your first interview.)_

What's happened to me so far? I was exposed to some of the weird that goes on in the office. Like Dwight? Who does he think he is, SurvivorMan? (pauses) Wait, no one sees this, right? It's just a private thing? Dwight won't see this? (_He doesn't see this)__ oh, okay._ Well, over all, I'm pretty phyched to see how things go this week.(Michael knocks on the window passing by)

MICHAEL: (muffled) ZO-ZO! YO-YO! Oh! You're having your first day interview! How adorable! It's so sweet!

(Zoe closes the blinds, frowning.) Yup. Zo-Zo. I used to be called that….(long pause, nods) When I was two.

---

_Michael Interview Shortly After._

I am…so happy that Zoe is already settling into the "vibe" of office life. I mean, she's only like, eighteen, right? Wow she's a fast learner. Y'know. I already consider Zoe my daughter. She's come into the office family and I hope she stays the whole summer.

When I saw Zo-Zo having her first interview, it was so touching. It is like…seeing her go off on her first date. It's both heartbreaking and joyful.

Do I think she likes me? Well of course she does! She laughed at every one of my jokes during her interview, she…wants to go the Business School…and she's as cute as a button what can I say?

---

_Dwight Interview._

What do I think of Zoe? She's nothing but a diversion for a few months. When I heard she was going to be at Dunder-Mifflin this summer I did a little research. (pulls out large notebook) In this is everything I might need to know about Miss Zoe Elaine Ruthford. Zoe Ruthford, nineteen years of age, five-foot-two-inches, brown hair, brown eyes. Allergies include: feline, pollen, and cinnamon. Failed French II in her sophomore year in high school. (flips page) Tried out for every school musical and play and got in once, but dropped out apparently due to her father's running for Scranton City Council. Her father lost by eighteen votes.

---

It took fifteen minutes to attempt a recovery from the allbeit horrible introduction, which I spent hiding in the break room behind a trashcan, when someone kicked the can and caused me to gasp and jump up, nearly knocking into a cameraman. I apologized and looked at the man responsible for my "outburst".

"Five minutes and the intern cracked?" he grinned, obviously cracking a joke. I rolled my eyes and straightened out my t-shirt and brushed off my jeans, conveying that I hadn't cracked. He held out a hand to shake, "Jim Halpert."

I smiled and returned the handshake, "Zoe Ruthford." I shrugged, trying to appear as if I _hadn't_ just jumped out from behind a trashcan. "I haven't cracked. I'm using an old high-school trick to avoid humiliation."

"Oh yeah, you just graduated, right?"

A nod was my response, "I hung out with the nerds and the geeks. Kinda perfected the art."

"The high-school level, at least. In the office, there is no hiding," he took on a serious face like the ones you'd see in a horror flick when you were getting dished on the backstory or in a kung-fu film when the teacher would instruct the student. "You have to learn to fight for your image!"

I couldn't help but chuckle, breaking off the handshake. "I'm still getting settled into the whole office thing."

---

_Third On-Camera Interview:_

I'm guessing Jim saw me there and thought I needed a friend or something.

_(You do know about them, right?)_

After two minutes with Kelly, yes. She told me everything. (pause) I can keep up with girl talk! I wasn't a _total_ loser in high school, you know. (bites lower lip) I barely had any girl-talk, though. Most of my friends were guys and they…cast spells at each other using pencils during study hall…wow. I was friends with total dorks.

_Jim On-Camera:_

JIM: Zoe needs some new hiding places. I remember the last time we had an intern here, well, a summer worker. She was sixteen and needed something to do and she took a job here. Michael humiliated her first day, never came back. Next time I saw her was last week…cashier at McDonalds. Thought I'd help spare Zoe that fate. (grins)

_Zoe (off-camera dialogue as Zoe introduces herself to Pam with the help of Jim.)_

My first day didn't actually end as bad as it began. Michael didn't really do anything after he realized it wasn't really okay to call a nineteen-year-old intern hot on the first day yadda yadda yadda. But he did try to do a one-man "Twilight" parody for me in the afternoon…

_(camera zooms in on Michael's office window as he leaps onto his desk and leans in toward Zoe, _Michael: "You're like my own personal brand of heroin…or pixie stix."_)_

_ON-CAMERA:_

He even started to take off his shirt.

_Jim: Really?_

Yeah.

_Jim: Wooow._

But I beat him back with my jacket before he even got his tie off. Maybe later I'll do a Harry Potter parody single-handedly just for him in his office.

_Jim: All by yourself?_

I am a master of disguise, Jim. I could totally pull off Voldemort. (creepy look at the camera)

_Jim: That's more like Dwight about to tell me off than the Dark Lord._

(cracks up)


	2. Chapter 2

WEEK TWO. DAY TWO. JUNE SIXTEENTH.

_Apparently it's not okay to play pranks on Dwight. (According to Dwight.)_

_Jim does it anyway._

_And it's hilarious._

I stumbled into work late Tuesday morning nursing a cup of iced coffee with my hair a complete and total mess and wearing a t-shirt and sweat pants. Hey, I was an intern, no casual business attire for me–well, I was working on getting some slacks and a blazer to wear with the only button-down I had.

---

_Zoe On-Camera Interview:_

Why am I late? Well, to cut it short I was (coughs, shifts in seat) uh (whispers) I was working on college applications for spring semester. You see I was hoping to take business classes at the community college but they kind of filled up with people from other places in and out of state. Who'd want to go to another state to attend community college? (pauses) So, anyway, I'm scrambling to get into somewhere else before everything fills up. But most of the deadlines are long past. Hey, if college doesn't work out, I could get a job here…as copy-girl. Like a waitress for copies! That sounded really pathetic, didn't it?

---

Pam looked up at me and tilted her head, "What's up?"

I shrugged and looked around for something to do. "I just slept though my alarm this morning. I've never done that before."

Dwight looked me over with a stink-eye. "Why are you dressed so inappropriately? Where is your casual business attire?"

I scowled at him. "Did you not hear what I just told Pam? I slept in. If I took the time to buy 'casual business attire' and get all dolled up for work I'd never get here in time. And I'm an _intern_, Dwight. I don't need to dress like I work here."

"So you decided to come dressed like you just rolled out of bed?"

Insert eyeroll. "I _did_ just roll out of bed. I slept through my alarm. Do I need to make a memo for everyone? So they know why I look like crap?"

"So you just _happened _to drive through Starbucks on your way to work?" Dwight persisted.

"Unless I wanted to fall asleep at the wheel I wouldn't have drove through Starbucks. Is my interrogation over?" sass courtesy Zoe Ruthford, Back-Talking-her-Dad Edition.

"Write me a one-page report on exactly what you did to make you late," he countered, holding up his notepad.

I laughed in shock, "_Seriously_?!"

"Yes, seriously. Consider it your first job for the day," he smiled smugly, tossing me the pad once I'd gotten within range (near his desk). "I want it on my desk by lunch."

"Yes, Professor Dwight," I mumbled in fake-degection, taking a pen from his desk and taking a seat on the ground by the reception desk to write my essay. "I thought I was done with school for the summer."

Jim chuckled and tossed a piece of paper at me, giving Pam a mischevious look. I gave him my best confused face before uncrumpling the note and reading it. The basic gist of it was that I should write that jedi abducted me after work and tried to make me learn their jedi ways. I found it a good idea and agreed by giving him a thumbs-up and a nod before getting to work on my essay.

---

_Zoe On-Camera Interview, reading the final paragraph of her essay._

And with a final swish of my lightsaber, I slayed Yoda. After which I went to bed, exhausted. I slept through my alarm because of my fight against the jedi. That's why I was late for work, the end. (looks to camera and chuckles) I wasn't ever good at story-telling. It was my idea to kill off Yoda at the end, though. He had to be taken down, though. He was turning to the dark side of the force. (scoffs, giggles)

_Jim On-Camera Interview_

_JIM:_ Yeah, I gave her the jedi abduction idea. I read her essay. _Very_ convincing. Dwight will love it.

---

I walked past Dwight's desk and placed my essay there with a proud smile. He quickly grabbed up my work and started to read it. I covered my mouth with one hand to stifle my giggling. I slipped out my iPod touch and opened the lightsaber application and began to play with it, creating sound effects for the story he was reading.

"Zo-Zo!"

_Oh boy. _I turned off the application and put away my iPod. I soon felt the arms of Michael Scott take me up in a big hug and lift me off the ground. "How's my favorite intern?"

"Tired," I squeaked, struggling, dropping my empty plactic iced-coffee cup, and groaning. "Please put me down."

"Why so tired Zoe?" Jim asked, smiling brightly in unison with Pam. I grinned and struggled out of Michael's grip.

"I…battled with jedi late into the night. At the end I was unfortunately forced to slay Yoda."

"NO!" Dwight howled, obviously not done with my essay. "Zoe! You're a liar!"

I put on a look of hurt, "You doubt my honesty, Dwight? You don't trust the honesty of an innocent high-school graduate?"

"Fact, Yoda would never turn to the dark side!"

"Fact, you didn't believe me when I said I slept through my alarm. Mr. Scott, Dwight made me write an essay on why I was late! One page long exactly! I couldn't just say I slept through my alarm, could I?"

---

_Zoe On-Camera Interview:_

Do I think Michael plays favorites? Well…

_(Did you watch the DVDs we gave you after your first interview?)_

I was supposed to watch those?

_(You didn't?)_

Well, I watched one episode online once. Michael said that he considered Ryan like a son and–Ryan was a temp then, right? So…does he consider me his daughter in the Scranton Branch family? _(we can't answer that.)_ Well, uh, I think he plays favorites, he just doesn't know it.

_Michael On-Camera Interview:_

_MICHAEL: _Do I play favorites? Of course not! Why? Are people saying that I do? Who? I mean, I do feel _closer_ to certain workers than I do to others. For example: I feel closer to…Jim than I do to Toby. I feel closer to Zoe than I do to Toby. I feel closer to…Dwight than I do to Toby.

_Zoe (Off-camera dialogue as camera shows her making copies, then talking to co-workers in the break room, and finally knocking on the door to Michael's private office.)_

If Michael does actually play favorites and knows it, I want to be one of them. Because, well, I like it here–kinda–and I doubt that I'm going to get into college this semester and I'd like a job here. So being a Scott favorite would be a step toward that goal, wouldn't it?

---

I smoothly knocked on Michael's door, smiling serenely and trying to remain calm. I heard a muffled "Come in!", a signal for me to turn the doorknob and enter his office, a cameraman close behind me. I was going to have to get used to this.

"Mr. Scott?"

"Please call me Michael, Zoe! You're part of the family now!" he cheered, gesturing for me to take a seat. "Sit down if you'd like to."

"Actually I wouldn't like to. I was thinking of making a coffee run and I was wondering if you'd like me to get you anything."

"Surprise me!"

I nodded and started out the door, but stopped and turned around. "Oh, and Michael? You know how I applied for Scranton Community College?"

"Uh-huh. Business classes, right?"

Another nod, "There was kind of a mix-up with the mail and I just got my"–

"Letter of acceptance! That's great! Oh, Zo-Zo! That's fantastic! Let's go tell everyone!"

"No, Michael, you aren't listening to me!" I retorted, trying to pull away as he dragged me out to the main office.

"Everyone! Zoe has some incredible news for you all! Zo, why don't you tell 'em?" he beamed at me, then the whole office. I opened my mouth to speak, but was cut off by Michael, again, "She was recently accepted into Scranton Community College! There was a mix-up with her mail and so she finally got her acceptance yesterday!" he gave me a squeeze.

I flushed deep red and shook my head. "No. No I didn't. I was going to say that I got my letter of _rejection_ yesterday. That's why I wanted to tell you in your office," I whispered to him, trying not to run to the break room to get the coffee. His face fell and he let go of me.

"Wait, what?"

"I _didn't_ get into Scranton Community College. It was completely full and I was a little too late."

"Uh…uh…uh…oh…" Michael fumbled for words as I stared at him, hoping he'd say something. "Uh…everyone? Just kidding! Late…April Fool's. Ha-ha-ha…"

I sent a glare at Michael. Oh yes, _that_ was smooth. "What he means is this was all a giant misunderstanding. He thought it would be funny to do something concerning my college situation and this is what he came up with."

---

_Zoe On-Camera Interview_

That's one thing I didn't expect Michael to do. Think I was accepted and start to parade me around the office before I could tell him I was rejected. And call me "Zo". Usually it's "Zo-Zo", "Zoom-ie", or just "Zoe". So…I need to get caught up once I'm at home. (pauses) I was going to ask him to hire me as an assistant after I told him I was rejected. Pull out the big guns (sniffles and makes lower lip quiver, then stops and smiles). If only he had listened.

_Michael On-Camera Interview in the stairwell later_

_MICHAEL: _How was _I_ supposed to know she'd been rejected? I mean she built up to it like she was about to tell me she was accepted, honest mistake. (pauses for question) Well, yeah, I could've heard her out.

(_camera zooms out to reveal Zoe sitting next to Michael.)_

Could've?

Michael: Okay, I _should've _heard you out.

(nods)

Michael: I'm sorry.

It's okay, Mr. Scott.

_Jim and Pam On-Camera Interview_

JIM: Do you think it was all a misunderstanding?

PAM: Nope.

JIM: My guess is Michael leapt to conclusions and burst out all ready to boast about the acceptance and the Zoe told him that she really hadn't gotten accepted.

PAM: Ouch.

JIM: I'm not saying she's dumb or anything.

PAM: No, ouch that she got rejected from _Scranton_ Community College.

JIM: Yeah…that's gotta sting a little.

_Kevin On-Screen Interview:_

KEVIN: I think that Zoe really _did_ get into Scranton and just didn't want everyone to know about it yet.

---

I walked across the office to the break room in silence, not making eye-contact with anyone, not wanting to for that matter. I wasn't going to hide behind the trash can, I was going to hide in the bathroom like a mature adult would and try not to cry in front of the cameramen. One followed me all the way to the bathroom door, when I turned around and pointed to the sign. "Girls only, buddy. Little privacy?"

"No problem. Make sure to watch those DVDs, though. They may just help you survive this nuthouse."

"How long have you been working on the show?"

"Since the beginning of season three."

I thought for a moment about what my friends had gushed to me concerning the show, "That's when Stanford merged with Scranton, right?"

The cameraman put down his camera and smiled, "You _do_ know this show!"

I chuckled, "No, no. I just recall what my friends tell me about it. And what little I _have_ seen."

"You're doing better than the last summer worker we had here. She had a mental breakdown after hours right where you're standing," he grinned, pointing at my feet. "Don't tell anyone, but I recorded an interview where Jim said he saw the girl again. She's working at McDonalds."

My jaw dropped, "Really?" I almost laughed, "I hope I don't go nuts here, I'll end up flipping brugers for the rest of my life."

"Or maybe you'll end up in a dead-end job like I did."

"This is not dead-end! You're getting paid to stalk people and invade their personal lives!" I paused and bit my lower lip, "I bet you know where someone is hiding a huge stash of candy."

The guy looked around for a few moments and nodded, "I know where Merideth hides her booze. And where Dwight got that creepy bobblehead of himself. As for candy…Michael has a giant jar of it hidden under one of the potted plants in the office."

"_That's _how he has the maturity of a eight-year-old. Pops a pack of pez every morning. I should've known," I joked, tapping my chin in thought. "I think Michael may have a problem."

"I'm Brendan," he held out his hand, placing his camera back in position. "Nice to meet you Zoe. I got to go back to stalking people for money." He grinned. I chuckled, liking the prospect I'd brought up in the first place. After I was done chuckling, I looked up from my feet–which I'd been looking at the whole time I was chuckling–and saw that Brendan was gone. I strangly found myself blushing and pressed against the wall.

"Aw sh––crap," I sank down the wall, nearly swearing, but stopping myself when I noticed a camera just ouside the break room window. I let slip a nervous laugh and waved at the cameraman–obviously this guy wasn't Brendan–and signaled for him to go away. "Go on, stalk someone else, why don'cha?"

WEEK TWO. DAY THREE JUNE SEVENTEENTH.

_Cameramen are not to be trusted._

_They may be cute, but no matter. They are not to be trusted._

_Ever._

_I think,_

Jim knocked against the break room window as I attempted to pour a cup of coffee for Michael in his "BEST BOSS EVER" mug. I gave a quick start and looked up, hoping to get a glance of Brendan. But, nope, it was just Jim.

"_Jim_!" I gasped, nearly dropping the mug and spilling hot over my left jean leg. I let loose a word that most likely would be bleeped out on television and set the now-half-empty mug onto the table. Yeah, it was starting to burn, but I didn't really mind. I'd spilled coffee on myself so many times already it didn't really matter anymore. He opened the door with an almost smug smile on his face. I rolled my eyes at him and pointed to the coffee stain forming on my jean leg. My brows rose quizically when I pointed at the stain again. "You knew I was going to do that, didn't you?"

"Maybe," Jim grinned, taking the coffee pot from me and setting it back in the coffeemaker. "I thought you'd just jump a little bit. No clue you'd spill Michael's coffee on yourself. _Why _are you making him coffee again?"

I sighed, "I thought _may_be, if I made him coffee enough times he'll see I'd be a great assistant, or coffee-girl. Y'know, with the whole 'college' thing falling through, I'd like to stay here as, like, an actual employee."

"An assistant, huh? For Michael? What would you do?"

I smiled and looked around, making sure no cameramen were around, I stood on my toes and whispered in his ear, "One of the cameramen told me Michael has a stash of candy somewhere in the office. I'll find it and get some of it to share between me, you, and Pam." I pulled back and shrugged.

At that moment Creed stepped through the door and grabbed the coffee pot to get himself a cup of coffee. After filling it, he began to drink it, eyeing me over the rim of his mug. I rubbed the back of my neck and finished filling Michael's mug and left the break room. "I'll tell you about it later."

I walked across the office to Michael's private office and knocked, "Michael, I got your coffee!"

The door opened, then Michael scurried back to his desk and sat down. "Well, hey there, Zoom-ie! You brought the coffee? Coolio! Bring it here, home-slice!"

'_Don't say anything, don't say anything.'_ I thought, walking to his desk, setting down the coffee and turning around to exit. "You're welcome, Michael."

"Thank you, Zo-Zo!" he called as I shut the door.

---

_Zoe On-Screen Interview:_

I'm starting to get sick of the nicknames Mr. Scott keeps giving me. Soon I'm pretty sure he's going to call me 'Zohan'. Just wait. It'll either be today or tomorrow. I'm going to walk by him and he's going to clap me on the back and say, "Hey there, Zohan!" and laugh. Then he'll go, "Get it? Zohan? Zo, like Zoe? And Han? Zohan! You don't mess with the Zohan?" And I will make myself laugh so I can get a permanent job here. After that he will learn not to mess with the Zo-E. (chuckles, stops, stares wide-eyed into the distance.) Oh God I'm turning into a mini-Michael.

---

*********

That night I sat alone on the couch at home, watching one of the DVDs I'd been given with a bowl of popcorn and a diet soda. I sighed and hummed along to the theme song, bobbing my head to it, when my cell buzzed. It was my friend, Kourt, my Office-Obsessed friend since it first started. I pressed the answer key and put the phone to my ear.

"Hello?"

I had to yank the phone away from my ear. "ZOE! OH EM EFFIN' GEE! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?! WHY WHY WHY!?"

"Tell you what, Kourt?"

"That you are on the FLIPPIN' OFFICE!"

I straightened up, "They're already releasing episodes with me in them?"

"Yes! They're showing your first day!"

"_When I graduated high school I wanted to do something that'd help me with the career I was going to try to get after I graduated college. Business school, basically. I live about fifteen minutes from the building and thought, 'Hey, why not intern at Dunder Mifflin?'…you could say I made a good first impression…because I made myself laugh at all of Mr. Scott's jokes. Let's just hope I can survive the summer._"

Oh my gosh that was me. "I can't watch anything I'm involved in! Contractual stuff! I could find out something I'm not supposed to."

"You look so cute! You're wearing the shirt I got you for Christmas!"

I sighed, "_Goodbye_, Kourt."

On the other end, Kourt burst out singing the theme song in my ear. I hung up and went back to watching the DVD.

*********

WEEK TWO. DAY FOUR JUNE EIGHTEENTH.

_I think I might be pshycic._

_Seriously._

I sat on top of the counter in the break room, talking with Phyllis about possibly joining the party-planning committee, when Michael came bounding into the room, most likely on a sugar high (I was still trying to find his candy stash). He came over and clapped me on the back.

"Hey there Zo-Zo, Zoom-ie, _Zohan_!" he broke out laughing and hugged me tightly, ruffling my hair. I gave the camera outside of the room a look that said 'told-you-so'. "Get it? Zohan? Zo, like Zoe? And Han? Zohan! You don't mess with the Zohan?"

I forced myself to laugh, rolling my eyes when Michael let me go and turned his back.

---

_Zoe On-Screen Interview:_

(unamused look at the camera) You owe me five bucks. And another three for the other nicknames he said before 'Zohan'.


	3. Chapter 3

**LUNCH, WEEK TWO, DAY FOUR**

I walked back into the office, holding a McDonald's bag in one hand and a large Diet Cola in the other. I knocked on the door of Michael's private office and grinned, "Hey…Michael?"

"He's not in at the moment," Pam grinned back, using her receptionist tone and looking up from her desk. "may I take a message?"

"Yes, this is Intern 'Zohan'. Tell him that I was going to give him the fries from my meal but will now have to share them with someone else. Please inform Mr. Scott that I apologize." I slipped the fries out of my bag, filling the room with the scent. "I thought it'd be okay to indulge today. Since it's Thursday and all."

"TGIThursday?" Andy called from his desk, soon followed by the squeaking of the wheels of his chair toward us. I groaned. Andy was not exactly my favorite person in the office.

"Yeah…so?" I replied, putting a few fries into my mouth with a curious look. "Want some fries?"

"Yes I diddly-do!"

Killed the joy of sharing right there. "Take 'em." I handed over the whole container of fries and looked over the rest of the office. "Hey, where'd Dwight go?"

"Sales call with Michael," Andy managed through a mouth full of deep-fried potato.

---

_Zoe On-Screen Interview_

One thing I hate about being an intern? It's basically like being a temp. You do what other people aren't there to do. So when Dwight is off on a "sales call", I have to do his work.(pauses) Why do I doubt he's on a sales call? Because he's with Michael. It's probably something corporate-related and they're only _saying _it's a sales call.

---

My face fell, "Oh? Does this mean I have to take his regular calls?" _Please say no, please say no, pleeease say no!_

"You _could_, but I don't think you _should_," Jim turned in his chair to join the conversation.

This answer was met by a grin from me. "What? Am I not sales material yet?" I questioned, taking the burger from the paper bag, unwrapping it and examining it. After I finished talking, I took a bite, listening to Andy as he answered with a full mouth–again.

"Not quite, young grasshopper. You have much yet to learn before you can make a good sales call."

I swallowed my bite of meat, bun, and cheese with a shrug, "Yeah, I guess you're right…if I knew what you were talking about."

"Don't understand me, little one?"

I stole one of my french fries, "So you're insulting my height now? Technically you're shorter than me right now. You're the one sitting down and I'm standing."

"You dare take fries from the master?"

I nearly choked on my fry. I swallowed and laughed, "Are you kidding me? Dude, Andy. Love ya, but this is not a martial-art movie. Speak English, modern dialect," I took a few more fries, "and I gave you these, I can take back as many as I want."

"No take-backsies!" Andy complained, snatching the fries back and stuffing them into his mouth. "Ha!"

I made a face of disgust at the sight of potato guts squishing around in Andy's mouth. "Ew." I looked over at Pam, "Any clue on when Michael and Dwight will be back?"

"Four, maybe five," Pam replied as she tapped her pencil on the surface of the desk. "Tomorrow morning, maybe?"

I rollled my eyes, "They're in New York?"

"Corporate stuff."

I marked one point on the invisible chalkboard in front of me, dragging my finger down about two inches from my eyeline, giving the cameraman across the office from me a 'I know things' look at him. The cameraman waved at me and lowered the camera from his face. I blushed and ducked my head. Brendan.

"What? What is it?" Pam whispered, noticing my sudden shyness. "Forgot something? See someone?"

"Oh, it's nothing. Nothing at all."

---

_Zoe On-Screen Interview:_

No I don't have a crush on anyone in the office. Not anyone involved. (pauses, shifts nervously in seat, clears throat) Did I tell you guys I'm getting my first outfit of "casual business attire"? Yup! Going to Target after I'm done today to go pick it out. I saw this really cute black blazer and slacks. And there was an adorable light purple button-down that I liked. I'm using some of the graduation money I got from my family. I'm using the rest on an apartment. (shy smile)

---

WEEK THREE, DAY ONE. JUNE TWENTY-SECOND.

_It's Monday._

_Ugh._

_Nothing to report._

"Hey hey Little Miss Fancy-Suit!" Michael called, grinning at me as I brought in his coffee at nine-thirty like I had made a habit of doing. He was complimenting–I hoped–on the new look I was sporting to my internship. It wasn't exactly the one I had descibed to the camera crew on Thursday. Truthfully, Kelly had come with me to Target and picked it out for me. It was still black slacks and blazer, but with a more official-looking white button-down shirt.

"Thanks, Mr. Scott. I thought it would be appropriate for today."

"And why would that be, Zo-Zo?" Michael asked, taking the mug from me and sipping from it. I sat on his desk, turned at the waist to look at him, and stuck out my lower lip ever so slightly.

"Mr. Scott, I want a job here."

He chuckled, "Why?"

"Well, with college falling through like a one-ton weight through plywood…I need something to do sustain myself financially until I can get into Scranton Community College. And I need tuition money for when I _do_ actually get into college."

"Aren't you staying with your folks?"

"They won't give me any money. Plus I've already made the down payment on an apartment using my graduation money that my extended family gave me." I sniffed, slipping off his desk and into the seat across from it. I made my lower lip quiver, "Please Mr. Scott. I need this job. I'll be a coffee-girl…copy-girl? How about an assistant? All of the big-wigs at corprate have them, right? Why not a regional manager?"

"You're an intern."

"_BUT…but, _but, but, but…I _won't_ be an intern come August, right? _Right?_" I begged, digging through my mental book of make-daddy-get-me-what-I-want tricks from my pre-teen and early-teen years.

Most of the tactics were unproffessional and probably would still work on Michael, but still. I wanted to retain my dignity. "I'm not asking for this as an intern. I'm asking for it as a…a _daughter_. Your daughter in the Dunder Mifflin Scranton family." I made the most innocent and pleading face that I could. "I consider you my father here. Could you please gimmie the job, Daddy?"

---

_Zoe On-Screen Interview:_

Dignity still in tact, kissing up to the boss to get a job, pulling the "Please? For me?" face. All part of a good saleswoman. I could totally sell paper in person.

---

He looked at me for a good solid minute before leaning back in his chair, mumbling, and resting his elbows on the table. "I'll have to think about it. Would you still think of me as a Dunder Mifflin Daddy to you if I said no?" he inquired warily.

I nodded, "Oh yeah. But I would go into a rebellious rage and run off with a cameraman or something. Maybe trash your office, mope around the break room, burst into tears when you walk by. Scream 'Why don't you love me!?' and run out of the room. That kind of rebellious daughter crap."

"I see. I'll think on it. G'bye, Zo-Zo darlin'."

I stood up from my seat, calmly walked out of his office, and sat in a stray empty spinny-chair. I eyed Dwight for a moment, wondering what it'd be like to prank him. I wondered if he was still freaked out about the website having a sentient brain and all. It'd be fun to try that. The essay was alright but hardly worth doing again. Pretend to flirt with the producer's assistant or a cameraman and "inform" Jim and Pam that I was sleeping with said producer to get a permanent spot on the show? I smirked evilly. That might work. Even better, I could say it was someone from corporate, get Jim and Pam in on it so I could get some professional advice. I could see it all now, it was practically perfect in almost every way.

I took out my phone and shot Jim a text 'hey, thinking of pulling a prank for the first time. help plz?'

'who did you have in mind?'

'andy, maybe dwight?'

'andy is better'

'k, what should I do?'

We eventually came to the conclusion on what exactly I would do to prank Andy. And I admit. It was pretty devilish. I definitely needed to take lessons from Jim for my dorm-mate if they were a total ass.

This prank was going to be so much fun!


End file.
